How many times have you heard someone say ‘I really want________’ ? Its as if once they have that whatever it is they will magically find some happiness that was lacking when they didn’t have it. As if in spite of all they have , getting that one other thing will somehow fulfill them.
I get to hear it all to often, and typically from a crowd that is very well healed. It makes me think, makes me wonder and generally confounds me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m only able to share that revelation with you because I’ve done exactly the same thing!
One day as I sat quietly thinking about all that lacked in my life; squarely fixated on the one thing that would cause me all this happiness, I happened to recall that in childhood, all I really wanted was to not feel like I had two heads and three noses. All I wanted was to feel as though I was accepted just the way I was and for who I am.
I sat there at a moment when I was surrounded by friends who cared for me, by a family who doesn’t judge me and by so much more that it would be hard to list in this little note. WHY then was I so fixated on the WHAT?
I sat and thought about this deeply for a while, a tiny little voice came from within, and could it be that I had learned the lesson of disposability? Was it that I had heard the message of quantity vs quality? Was it as simple as not realizing that really the thing I wanted today would be replaced by another? Of course it was all of those and more.
So now, each time I think of a thing I really want I go through a little process; I call it Ram’s Rule of Reality or Triple R
Is the something that I want attached to a certain glam factor to? Is it something I want simply because I feel that it validates me as a person? More importantly I need to ask myself, is the ‘why’ of what I want something that will affect the quality of my life on a permanent basis? Once I take myself through that and really find out the ‘why’ about the ‘what’ I usually understand that it really isn’t that important.
Interesting isn’t it?
Next time you find yourself thinking “ I simply can’t live without this what”; Take yourself through your own test of reality…You may surprise yourself with the answers!